bass guitar anyone could play?

okay, not anyone. but it looks nifty. and who doesn't like bass guitars, and bass guitarists? and it's called the "Longbow Bass - American Classic". and i don't really know what to say, except i really need a sound clip now. found via neatorama - here's the link to the original website, LongbowBass.

cute dog drinks water in Slo-Mo

this is the best - not what i expected at all! and the dog - which i sincerely believe is a Belgian "Malamumfhuh" - is super cute and adept at catching tossed kibble! fans of shepherd-y dogs will enjoy this four minute vid. jump to 2:25 if you don't have time to watch the intro! via neatorama.

more animals that challenge your taxonomy

found a list of endangered weirdo animals via neatorama and webecoist. enjoy this crazy stuff, and certainly get more information using the links. here are some of my faves:

The Kakapo - the flightless nocturnal green parrot of New Zealand. it could probably eat my dog. wait, that's the Kea, another New Zealand parrot known for its habit of dive-bombing sheep, ripping out the wool on their backs, and eating their back-fat! (New Zealand animals might even be crazier than Aussie animals: also on the islands is the kiwi, world's smallest member of the ostrich family, and once upon time, the giant moa weighing up to 500 lbs.)

The Solenodon - another one of those rare, primordial venomous mammals! shrew-like, kinda ugly. o, evolution, you tickle me sometimes...remember the platypus with its eggs, its milk, its reptilian waddle and venomous spur! i love it.

The Bumblebee Bat - yes, the same size as a bumblebee. also hovers like a hummingbird. and makes an adorable brooch? i'll take ten!

The Aye-aye - a small primate of madagascar that - maybe - finds its prey via echolocation. just like dolphins and bats, what! "wait, i'll ping you!"

add some Bonus Awesome to your day

have you read the Best of Craigslist recently?! go read "to the perv who groped me on my way home" right now. it's awesome. i love it. whoever that girl is - all five foot two of her - i love her.

and the guys who came out to check on her were nice, too. gad.

i heart Airline Humor from OverheardEverywhere

Southern stewardess: In case of a water landing occurring in between Tucson and Las Vegas... (pause) If you are traveling with a spouse or ex-wife be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first so that you have an excuse to leave them on their own.

(later)

Southern stewardess: There are six bathrooms on this Boeing 747, feel free to use any of them if you don't like my jokes. (pause) Oh, and if you have any questions don't ask me, I'm new here.

Flight 280
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: kat

how did i not post about spam sushi?

so, according to LunchInABox, spam sushi is a local delicacy in hawaii. you can imagine the history of spam in hawaii and how it coincides with the history of hawaii's annexation by the united states, yes? well, now they've got spam sushi. and if you want to make it, look no further than LunchInABox!

let's all think about Queen Liliuokalani - the last hawaiian monarch - overthrown by the american government in 1893. the united states issued an official apology for the illegal overthrowing of hawaii's government in 1993, according to wikipedia.

well, pass the spam anyhow - the native americans, filipinos, puerto ricans, and okinawans might want some.

"power suit" given new meaning

according to geekologie and aol news, paraplegics can leave their wheelchairs behind by donning robotic suits. the suits, invented by amit goffer, fit along the thighs and lower legs and have a little shoe-cup at the bottom. using a suit, a paraplegic person can:

1. stand up
2. walk forward and backwards
3. walk downstairs and upstairs
4. sit down

it's way cool. next up, a suit for quadriplegics (i'm hoping). and then a robotic suit for all the dogs in wheelie carts, yeah! click the link to Dewey's Wheelchairs for Dogs at your own risk - get ready to cry. for joy? i love the demonic smile on this wheelie-pug:

Solid Gold nostalgia

hey, i was just thinking about the tv show, Solid Gold. so i was just a little squirt then, but i guess the scantily-clad dancers made an impression. so i thought i'd look it up on youtube, and of course there is a banquet of Solid Gold opening sequences and Top 10 countdowns! here's a countdown from the 1985 season. take note of the spike-heel, slouch-boot, zebra-print, crazy-hair, pink leotard madness!

it's so 80's, it's like a parody of the 80's. i say that now, but i totally had a pair of tights with hot pink and neon green accents. plus, there was puff paint. and ripped stonewashed jeans with contrasting patches! c'mon, i was a little kid. and now you know about how old i am, shoot!

well, i got started thinking about Solid Gold due to obsessively grooving to sylvester's cover of Band of Gold (originally sung by Belinda Carlisle, et al, right?). which is a song about a failed marriage, but i prefer to think it's really about Solid Gold, big hair, and sparkly gold lame boob-tube tops.

disgusting sushi cake is travesty

so, instead of having lovely tiers of artfully plated sushi, or eating sushi off a coffin-sized wooden presentation boat, or having sushi catered by imported japanese chefs, somebody decided to build a wedding cake out of sashimi. it seems to be decorated with little star cut-outs - sweet omelet? - plus edamame, piles of salmon roe, and slices of avocado. i'd say it's salmon on the bottom tier, then the dark red tuna, then the pale yellowtail on top.

that's about the way i'd do it myself. EXCEPT THAT MY SASHIMI CAKE WOULDN'T LOOK DISGUSTING. because i would NEVER ORDER a sashimi cake. my god, this is even worse than the "meat cakes" made of potted meat, meatloaf cream cheese, and maybe spam.


omg, i just threw up a little. Cake Wrecks is an awesome blog, way.

expensive coffee drinks just became more expensive

check out this latte art from neatorama and seriouseats: a machine will draw crazy custom-designs with caramel syrup, making the foam on top of your cappuccino into Something Special. i might even pay $8 for one cup o' pegasus, just one time.

maddening hypocrisy, found by Library Link of the Day

click here to read about the public librarian who was fired for writing a book of FICTION loosely-based on her experiences working at her library. probably a bad idea to use her own library's photo for the cover, but still - she said it's FICTION, people. and by now we all know that fiction means "it may be based in reality, but MOSTLY I JUST LIED TO MAKE A GOOD STORY."

goddamn it, FREE SPEECH, FREE SPEECH. librarians everywhere are balling up their fists and ferociously cleaning their glasses while planning their next move. i know i am.

this also seems like a good time to add a link to a Directory of United States Public Libraries, bitches. also added in Linky Links.

mutant cats and gps tortoises

according to the UK's Daily Mail, and to cuteoverload, and quite a few others, there is a four-eared cat in chicago. his name is yoda and he's pretty cute. click here for the article and some pictures, but google could also get you some good stuff. i used the Daily Mail here because they seem more enthusiastic about four-ear cats than the american news sites.

and then, did you hear about the pot farmers caught by a wandering gps-fitted tortoise? found the article via neatorama and geekologie, but here is a link to what i think is the original article. okay, so it is a turtle after all - a box turtle. i thought turtles were in the water and tortoises were on land, though. wikipedia's entry on Turtle gives me a nice summary on "turtle, tortoise, or terrapin?"

finally, procrastinate by doing a little reverse-reference and playing Guess The Google. it's a nifty flash game wherein you must guess the original keyword used for the displayed image results. it's like Google Jeopardy, OMFG. and it's time to get "WZL" off the highest scores list. librarians, to the URL! this niftiness is from neatorama.

mirror mirror! from OverheardEverywhere.com

Female office worker: Once I was at this club and there was a mirror across from me. Not only did I walk into it and break it accidentally, but before I did it, I remember looking at myself and saying, "Who is this bitch?" and then, crash. I talked shit about myself and then I broke the mirror.

Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: trose

you know my list of Linky Links rocks hard

just added: Weird Asia News and Where Is Bob? both brilliant, of course. and i just looked at LISnews again, and it's really good. the internet is just so goshdarn awesome sometimes.

reading Stalking the Wild Asparagus makes me want to sneak around with a pair of pruners and an asparagus knife. i'd just snip and dig and peel my way into Wild Vegetable Land. you can eat day lily buds, boil them like green beans! you can eat cattail tubers! i don't even know what japanese knotweed looks like, but you can eat it!

if it says Field Guide on the cover, then by golly i want to read it.

famous canine companions

neatorama put together a short list of famous canines on the anniversary of rin-tin-tin's death (that was apparently august 10th, 1932). click here for the list, but not before you get a box of tissues and a teddy bear. i'm going home in an hour, and when i do, i'm gonna kiss my dog. and maybe cry a little.

i'll add balto the alaskan sled dog to my personal list - however, wikipedia is telling me that the antitoxin was relayed by many different teams of sled dogs. which makes sense, since overall the antitoxin had to travel more than 1000 miles in the least possible time, during a blizzard. balto's team just ran the last stretch, though the longest and most difficult stretch was led by another team and another whammo lead dog, togo. there were different teams, different sledders. I SMELL SCANDAL. but, here is taxidermy balto for reference.

i did not know: that the iditarod sled dog race is based on the route run by those sled dogs and their precious diptheria antitoxin.

telemegaphone is real, i think

telemegaphone dale is a loudspeaker telephone sculpture, about 20 feet high, situated on a mountaintop in norway. you can call dale's number and have your voice broadcast to the small mountain creatures, to the nearby fjords, and to the town far below.

if dale doesn't take your call, it's probably because the rest of the world is calling. and the wind-power is being a little fritzy on the mountain. so please try again later. thank you for calling Bergskletten Mountain.

+4790369389

yokohama's ice cream expo has flavors, yes

celebrating the 130th anniversary of ice cream being introduced to japan, yokohama's ice cream expo included such flavors as beef tongue, eel, cheese, beer, garlic (!!!), potato, crab, prawn, raw horse meat, and thinly sliced pearls(!!!omfg!!).

why don't we get this crazy in the united states, you know? we certainly don't have to get as crazy as serving horse sashimi ice cream, but i think we should definitely go for guiness ice cream, garlic ice cream, double chocolate stout ice cream, wasabi ice cream... and let me tell you right now, both cucumber mint and watermelon mint ice cream ROCK MY WORLD. in gelato form, too. i could probably go for lemon basil ice cream. and that burnt caramel ice cream i tried was actually really good - smoky, sweet, a little bitter. depth, interest, contrast, freedom, FLAVOR DISINHIBITION! that's what this country really needs.

oh, i guess we'll have to try smoked oyster ice cream and bacon ice cream, too.

attributes of the platypus

are you ready, people? you probably have a picture of the australian platypus in your minds, but let me tell you some insane things about it, which i learned on wikipedia's platypus page:

1. the platypus is a mammal - has fur and milk - that also lays leathery eggs. an egg-laying mammal is called a monotreme; only the platypus and a few species of echidna (a sort of hedgehog-esque egg-laying australian creature) are surviving members of the monotremes.

2. the male platypus has venomous spurs on its hind legs containing poison strong enough to cause a human incapacitating pain. sometimes for weeks after the sting. really!

3. the platypus find foods by touch and by electrolocation - that is, it is one of the few mammals to find food via electric currents created by the muscular contractions of prey. the platypus bill has special receptor cells for this kind of electric current.

the platypus is a damn interesting animal. what is one called who studies the platypus? perhaps a platypologist? let's all remember that human beans created the terms "mammal" and "reptile" - and we're the ones freaking out because certain animals don't fit into these categories. i think there's some kind of "taxonomy - not for beginners" lesson here.

if you don't believe me or wikipedia, go straight to the source. click here for an australian government page on the platypus.

advertising insanity

yep, it's a Papa John's crop circle. from FireWire blog, via Neatorama:

Look, it’s a bird, it’s a plane - it’s a pizza?

That’s right, it’s a pizza. If you’re flying in or out of Denver International Airport, look out the window and you’ll see a pizza cut into a wheat field near West 128th Avenue and Pena Boulevard. The crop circle, designed by artist Stan Herd, is a promotional vehicle for Papa John’s Pizza.

The pizza’s “pepperoni” is made of cedar mulch, with cornstalks standing in for green pepper, black mulch for olives, and flattened wheat stalk for cheese. It will be completed in time for the convention and will remain in place until the first snowfall.

banana "keepers" make me really uncomfortable

omg, the "banana bunker" is adjustable, and will keep your banana from getting bruised in your bag. and it comes in colors. and it looks really, really naughty. i'm a little embarrassed, actually.

we also have the "banana guard" with a more rigid structure, ventilation holes, and the ingenious ability to store both straight and curved bananas. and it also looks very naughty, and comes in multiple colors.

and finally, see more pictures of dubious banana keepers on lunchinabox.net!

we've talked about mashimaro, right?

the somewhat thuggish korean cartoon character, mashimaro, is something like a pudgy white bunny with a plunger stuck to this head. he does nasty things to others, and has been known to steal sandwiches. he probably drinks beer and smokes cigars. he is like the antithesis of hello kitty, say. read a little more about mashimaro on his wikipedia page.

the image above is sort of a play on the autumn harvest "rabbit in the moon" - the traditional rabbit in the moon is pounding mochi, a sticky rice flour dough. obviously mashimaro is on the john and unmoved. this image is explained when you watch a certain animated mashimaro episode.

click on over to here, scroll down, and select flash mashimaro episodes to view. beware of extreme toilet humor and general grossness, juxtaposed with mashimaro's cute pudgy marshmallow exterior.

fubar'd but still kicking

you know what's fun? calling tech support and having someone come out and replace your NIC card, and then having your entire computer implode over the next two weeks; replacing the system board, the power supply, and the ports...all in vain! my good ol' desktop is thrashed, folks. but the good news is, i get a new one for free.

so aside from that, and spotty home internet, and my cable tv not working, all is well! i owe many links - how about a satisfying list format?


they've got a theory: global warming won't affect hurricane frequency
click here for the discovery news article. prepare yourself for the d'oh! factor. conclusion: it's all conjecture and people attempting to be clever about the unknowable. that's all for today's lecture on existential metaphysics, kids.

neatorama is all abuzz over rumors that the mars probe found bacteria (maybe!)
you have to click it, before you lick it... i don't even remember how that song goes.

finally, time magazine and neatorama bring us cutecalling cards for the info age!
a quaint habit from stodgy victorian times? a comfortable ritual from business before social networking everything? well, print yourself some adorable cards with your email and your aim and your twitter and your blog, and whatever else, and hand 'em out. people need to get in touch with you RIGHT NOW, OMFG. you are more than your job, so put a little personality into it. and while you're waiting for the cards, why not abuse your gmail mobile app and let that guy behind you on the bus read through your inbox? that's what i like to do.