From Overhead Everywhere, Feb 6 2009

I'm Afraid Library Regulations Dictate That I Must Give You a Wedgie

Librarian: Watcha doin'?
High school girl: Studying.
Librarian: Nerd.

Bellingham, Washington
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Why haven't I posted in a while?

Well, honestly, the state of the economy has made me lose my sense of humor. Just a bit. But Obama is putting me in a better mood. I might even laugh a little after tax season.

But for right now, I am enjoying this article from Neatorama, written by Ethan Trex: Money for (Practically) Nothing: 4 Very Big Paychecks for Very Little Work

Here's the Number 4 Paycheck, my favorite entry, in the excerpt below. Sounds kinda dreamy! I really like they joins a gym just to "break up the day" - hilarity!

4. Edward McSweegan

Edward-McS.jpgWhile he may not be as high profile or as well-paid as the other names on this list, McSweegan may have found the sweetest deal an average guy could find. In a coup ripped directly from one of George Costanza’s daydreams, McSweegan claimed that he did nothing for seven years while employed as a scientist at the National Institutes of Health. In 2003 McSweegan told the Washington Post that he hadn’t really been given any job responsibilities since 1996. Prior to that, he had been a researcher and program officer on Lyme disease, but he was removed from that position in 1995 for arguing with a sufferers’ support group. Although he had a title as director of the U.S.-Indo Vaccine Action Program and a list of nominal duties associated with that role, McSweegan claimed that he only carried out the tiniest of tasks like ordering coffee. In exchange, he received a salary in the neighborhood of $100,000.

When the NIH vehemently disputed McSweegan’s story that he simply went to work and did nothing all day, he maintained that he never received any assignments. McSweegan would show up, sit in his office, and read to kill time. He took up fiction writing to fill his workdays and published a pair of novels he allegedly wrote while at the office. He told CBS in an interview that he also joined a health club near work “just to sort of break up the day.”

The most amazing part of McSweegan’s story isn’t that he managed to stay employed through this seven-year period, but that he received positive performance reviews
from his superiors. He wryly explained to CBS, “I guess I’m good at doing nothing.”

Location-Aware Phones are Scary and Amazing

Just read a Wired article recently about location-aware phones - and the crazy apps that tell you crazy CRAZY things about your environment! Like what constellations are over your head - just wave you iphone towards the heavens - or what supermarket sells the lowest price skim milk in a five mile radius - just snap a picture of the barcode. IN-SANE. Here's a link to the Wired Article on these creepy location-aware phone apps.

Here's an excerpt from the app list if you're lazy:

9)
Dark Alley? Call for Help.
Application: SafetyNet
Platform: Android
Price: FREE!

"Finally, a right way to venture to the wrong side of the tracks. Use SafetyNet's map to select bad neighborhoods. Then, if you end up in a sketchy area, your mobile will switch into watchdog mode. If trouble arises, all you have to do is shake the handset and your phone will set off an alarm, start sending your location to friends and family every 30 seconds via Google Talk, take a picture, turn on its speaker, and dial 911 (or another emergency number) . The app announces each of these steps out loud so a would-be assailant can hear what's happening and give up. At the very least, they won't want to steal a cell phone that's shrieking about calling the cops."

- from Inside the GPS Revolution: 10 Applications That Make the Most of Location, by Erin Biba for Wired

La Vache Qui Rit = sounds kinda like "valkyrie"

The Encyclopedia of the Cat is a reference book recommended for small-to-medium academic libraries. I find it humorous that - perhaps due to space concerns - the Encyclopedia of the Dog is NOT a similarly recommended book! Librarian humor. I guffaw. And my sources are probably out of date, but I enjoy it anyway.

Have I started using proper capitalization in this blog? Oh fine. I'll try it in this post, see how it goes.

You know how excited I am about coelacanths (see-luh-canths), those swimming fossil fish blithely going about their prehistoric business while we build skyscrapers and walk our cockapoos to the corner store...there's a book called A Fish Caught In Time: The Search for the Coelacanth. I'm excited to read that sucker. Check it out at your local library, or buy the book, heck.

Here's some cool stuff gleaned from Neatorama:


Stories behind 10 Famous Food Logos (including the metamorphosis of the Morton Salt Girl). I love the development of the Laughing Cow logo - it's a pun on "Valkyrie" = "vache qui rit", or the cow who laughs. Oh my god, the first laughing cow drawing makes me die a little bit. The cow is really losing it. Also included: the fictitious Aunt Jemima, the fictitious Betty Crocker (with creepy composite portrait gallery), and the fictitious Sara Lee!

At the website Energy Fiend, you can find out how many cups of coffee it would really take to kill you. Really! (The website is not liable if they are, say, two cups off in their arithmetic.) Actually, you can calculate the toxic dose of pretty much any commercially available stimulant and/or beverage on the market! Just enter your weight, your "poison" of choice...and there's even a Facebook app. Lord have mercy.

It would take approximately 130 shots of espresso to kill me, bitches! Try brewing that on your expensive yuppie-toy WHILE I WAIT.

And from Geekologie: how to program those Road Work construction signs to say things like "Zombies Ahead" and "Your face is ugly"! Nice.

From Gizmodo and Geekologie: a $5000 paper house for poor people - ostensibly as an alternative to a shantytown shack. (But if I had $5000, I wouldn't be living in a shantytown!) Anyway, it's a paper house that has insulation, and built-in ways to easily slaughter the yard pig and rinse its carcass in the shower stall. Integrated clothesline, and space for a family of eight. I guess it would be more of a gift from some kind of humanitarian organization: "Have fun drying your fish on the clotheslines, hang in there! This refugee camp is looking really ship-shape! Next we'll be handing out Ikea pillows that also function as plates and bowls..."

News Anchors on commercial break

Have you ever wondered what the news anchors talk about during commercial breaks? (Being a pessimist, I wonder if they secretly hate each other, but are forced to make polite small-talk for the camera), but this video from the Chicago Tribune blog HeadCandy proves me wrong. Watch the vid - they are both a little too fabulous.

This may be the best thing I've seen on the internet all week.

Kingfisher feathers as jewelry

The WearableArt blog kicks a$$! So much to love. Artist Tzu-Ju Chen creates jewelry using traditional Chinese techniques, like kingfisher feather inlay. But she also uses Chinese paper money - an offering for the dead - as the base for all this amazing jewelry. Take a look at some of the pieces on her website!

Here's the link from Wearable Art to Tzu-Ju Chen, too.

When venison is too bothersome

This is an article from the NY Times, pertaining to the trendy human consumption of grey squirrels in Britain. See, the native red squirrels are being decimated by the robust, disease-carrying grey squirrels from the New World. So, the locals have taken to eating squirrel - apparently much like rabbit, though dependent on time of year - fat or lean? - and the diet of each squirrel. Nuts and mushrooms sounds a little better than dumpster garbage and peanuts, in other words...

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. Let's not forget that. Put down the Big Mac, pick up an organic free-range acorn-fed squirrel, supplemented with morel mushrooms, pecans, beetle grubs, quail eggs, and pea shoots.

Braised and served with...roasted acorns and grubs, toasted pecans, sauteed morel mushrooms, quail eggs and fresh pea shoots. Just kidding.

I'd have a hard time eating squirrel, because they're adorable little monsters. But if there was a squirrel problem, I guess I would try it. Shoot for the head, don't eat the brains! I'd want summer squirrel, not winter squirrel - unless I was starving and needed to eat pure blubber. Like they do in the arctic - arctic squirrel! Sqwerl.

a love story (makes me nervous)

the 300 calorie food gallery

for the visual learners, curious people, and people trying to lose weight: the 300 calorie food gallery - which has a nice sound to it - featuring photos of different kinds of foods equaling 300 calories, with the weight and cost of the food. also, a $10 bill for scale. for example, how many bananas make 300 calories? you can see it in the gallery: about 2.5 medium-small bananas. categories include fruit, veggies, meats/fish, fairy/eggs, grains/nuts/seeds, and pastries/candies.

totally useful, and i am appalled at the amount of olive oil equaling 300 calories. ah well. just a smidge, then. from neatorama and healthassist.net, that's who.

edit: i love my typo, "fairy" instead of "dairy"! i'm keeping it.

aardvarks and cheap adjustable eye-glasses-for-the-masses

from zooborns and neatorama - i can't believe i've been missing out on a blog dedicated to new baby zoo animals around the world!!! - here is a fresh baby aardvark at the Detroit Zoo. (yes, an "ahd-vahk".) this is one precious wrinkly little animal.


so this is a photo of the receptacle in which scientists plan to ignite a tiny man-made star, dabble in fusion, and see what happens. we all feel an "i lived through" tshirt coming on, yes? from the Daily Telegraph and neatorama, here's the article about igniting a tiny man-made star in a giant metal box. this'll be at the National Ignition Facility in california, btw. brink of fusion power, one more time! c'mon y'all, let's see if you can do it without blowing us all up.


my fave picture here - this is a Zulu man wearing adjustable glasses. a physics professor at Oxford university designed some glasses with adjustable, liquid-filled lenses. They are adjustable in the sense that one can fill the lenses to the desired thickness, and thus change the magnification. the professor wants to distribute them to poor folks worldwide, and make these glasses for less than a dollar each. he's already distributed over 30,000 pairs in poor countries, with great success. one point for the near-sighted and far-sighted of the world! i myopically salute you all, and professor Silver. brilliant!!!

from the Guardian UK and neatorama, here's the link to adjustable glasses for the masses.

"Silver has devised a pair of glasses which rely on the principle that the fatter a lens the more powerful it becomes. Inside the device's tough plastic lenses are two clear circular sacs filled with fluid, each of which is connected to a small syringe attached to either arm of the spectacles.

The wearer adjusts a dial on the syringe to add or reduce amount of fluid in the membrane, thus changing the power of the lens. When the wearer is happy with the strength of each lens the membrane is sealed by twisting a small screw, and the syringes removed. The principle is so simple, the team has discovered, that with very little guidance people are perfectly capable of creating glasses to their own prescription."

i wonder how the glasses stand up over time? is there a mini-warranty? harnessing the power of fluid, okay!

owl demonstrates relativity

huh-larious. i can't even understand what they're saying, but just watch - the video becomes reeeally interesting at about the 1min 45sec mark. i love that owl.

this is from Wired's Top 10 Reader's Choice Animal Videos. includes "hamster eats popcorn while laying on piano keys", "dolphins artfully blowing bubble rings", "genius cow dog" and "chickens herding rabbits", among others.

wearable art and buzzwords

why haven't i heard of the wearable art blog before? ah well. thanks neatorama! i'll add it to my linky links. in the meantime, look at these crazy dresses and suit jackets sewn together from FRAGMENTS OF ANCIENT POTTERY, omg. you can even wear them, since they are sewn onto sturdy leather clothing. wear the weight of art, clink-clink. i love it - here's a link to the article on the wearableart blog. Chinese artist Li Xiaofeng does some beautiful stuff.

here's a temporary link to the gallery showing at the Virginia Miller Galleries in Coral Gables, FLorida.

also: a link to buzzwords of 2008, including "obamanation", "staycation", and "caribou barbie" among others. from the NY Times.

crown royale and forensics

okay, the two are not really related. yet! check out this case of linking a carjacking suspect to his police file, using the stomach-blood of a mosquito found in the stolen car! GENIUS. that is almost jurassic park, even. from neatorama and yahoo news, here is the link to the secret of the finnish auto-mosquito!


next we have a quilt made out of crown royal bags - you know, the purple velvet bag the bottle of fancy whisky is wrapped in before you gift it to your aunt who doesn't drink. it's apparently made-to-order on ebay. found on geekologie. will only cost you about $400 including shipping, because crown royal is not that cheap. drink up.

tshirt origami

seriously, what? i need a slo-mo replay, seventeen times.

wolverine: the movie!

origins of wolverine in movie format, with outrageously inconceivable action sequences and all kinds of weird comic-book characters fighting each other. i love it! i must see it. comes out in may! next: maybe a movie with hugh jackman and george clooney making out?

now you know more about me.

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

paper water bottles, omfg

you loved your nalgene so much, you carried it everywhere - once you even defended yourself against a mugger using your trusty nalgene. but then we discovered the plastic in nalgene bottles was leaching toxins into our water, and you switched to an aluminum bottle. or you bought a sigg bottle. or you just started drinking out of cheap plastic water bottles because you're contrary and grieve for your nalgene. aluminum, plastic, maybe you even tried glass...where's the love? why isn't it easy to carry potable water?



what about recycled paper water bottles, holy shit! these are from geekologie. and they look very sci-fi to me. and what a great idea - does it really work? why don't they leak, why don't they soak through? SOMEONE TELL ME WHY. here's the product page.


and then of course we have apples with apple logos on them. the geekologie writer assures us that No, The Apples Are Not McIntosh! (fuji apples, 'cause it's japan and all.) dammit. those japanese people missed the whole point. but, the apples are quite adorably commercial-ready. who knew you could do that with stickers? heck. this one is from geekologie and weird asia news, which is an awesome site i keep forgetting to check! here's the article.

how to ruin a book

found this instructable on neatorama: turn a favorite book into a working clock. great! a cookbook for the kitchen, a children's book for the rugrats' room. what an amazing way to ruin a useful, readable book! and make it into a semi-useful clock. a clock that you CANNOT READ - a book that has been DISABLED. the pages literally stuck together forever BY TIME.

this instructable, though outwardly cute, may as well be called How To Greatly Annoy A Librarian With Little Effort.

just saw this picture on the daily coyote blog

this is charlie the coyote enjoying a smoked pig ear. just like your average coddled domestic dog. charlie is so cute and clever-coyote-ish, you just want to bring him home and put him on the couch, no? i sure do.

except that shreve, the woman who raised him, does not want you to believe that raising a coyote is easy. for example, charlie the coyote - in his inexhaustible coyote cleverness - becomes easily bored. charlie will turn the kitchen faucet on and off, on and off, to provoke his boring human companion. he can turn the roomba on and off with his nose. he can open the cupboards and take all the pots and pans out, making a pile in the center of the room. he also does not accept anyone other than his two human companions, and friendly dogs.

he could probably suffocate me in my sleep. or win every game of battleship. or trick my chihuahua into trying to swim in the deep end.

so, class. let's enjoy the cute coyote while also remembering that coyotes do not make good pets. primarily because they'll erase your favorite tivo shows when you're not home.

'tis the season...for frugal gifting

found a list of 50 frugal or DIY gift ideas on boingboing - originally from the LA Times - and i liked many of them! particularly the mason jar of prunes stewing in armagnac for two weeks. or the homemade baby carrot pickles? or toasting some pecans in a sweet/hot spice mixture with sugar, then putting them in a little tin? cute and edible gets four gold stars from me. i love a reuseable gifting container. this list goes way beyond so-called denominational holidays; i just like to give people gifts in winter. the idea being that, in case of zombie war, the gifts will foster secure social bonds with my friends. and then those friends will be less likely to cannibalize me.

especially if i gave them breadsticks or herbally infused vodka. yep, i'm up way too late tonight.


speaking of food, i love love love these adorable fold-out sandwich boxes. found these on boingboing, and they are designed by emma smart, for ASDA - british grocery company. trompe l'oeil place settings are just what the world needs for take-out food! i would totally keep trying to pick up that shiny fork.


and here we have an expandable christmas stocking from neatorama and instructables. this is DIY project involving lots of zippers, and ends up making a cunning striped stocking. however, one could look at the glass half-empty, and see a clever way of making a shrinking stocking.

yep - just enough room for an orange, an apple, a milk chocolate jesus-on-the-cross, a fancy fountain pen...oh wait, that was last year. all i've got now is this bagel i found in the dumpster. (i know you like sesame, though.) and some baby carrot pickles in a jar i forgot to sterilize. and a pink slip from work, how 'bout that?

mouse obstacle course

this video from CuteOverload makes me feel a little better about the mouse poop on my kitchen stove. like, if the mouse is going to look cute and work so hard, well...fine, i guess one tiny mouse turd on the stove is fine. but not more than that, right? jeez.