Chickens in Suits

Maybe you've seen the picture of the chicken in the red vinyl tracksuit, somewhere on the web? Well, here's the homesite for the chicken suit designers, who create clothing for...chickens. See the models, the line, and think about ordering...suits for chickens. Yes, you can order chicken suits in a variety of textures and prints! There's even a fluffy/furry chicken suit. I hope the chicken suits allow the chicken's skin to breathe. You know, if you write "chicken suit" enough times, the words stop making sense.

www.chickenssuit.com

Barbie Cake, over Six Feet Tall

For Barbie's 50th anniversary, Mattel created a nearly seven-foot chocolate Barbie cake in the shape of...Barbie. In a gold silk ball gown (and gold frosting), wearing $50,000 of real Swarovski crystals. Incidentally, Barbie was made of chocolate mud cake, and weighed over 2000 lbs.

Yes, the party was in Sydney, Australia. It's true, you weren't invited. Yes, that is the Barbie Cake in the picture, not just a cute statue of Barbie. It's CAKE. I can't believe it, either.

From the fashion/food blog, Eat Me Daily. Here's the link to Barbe's 50th Anniversary Cake, with amazing photos. How do you cut a cake effigy of a doll wearing a real gold ballgown?! My god. Don't eat the crystals.

I love that I posted Golden Barbie Cake right after Pigskin Facial Portraits! Too good.

Pigskin Facial Portraits are Morbid and Disturbing

So, from Boston's Phoenix newspaper, here is a link to the article on artist Heide Hetry's exhibit, Heads and Tales. And here is a link to the macabre slideshow, flies and all.

On a less disturbing but still porcine-related note, Geekologie has informed me that you can buy an apparatus which creates bacon-flavored bubbles for your dog to chase after and pop. Non-toxic! Safe to ingest! Bacon-tasty! Also available in Chicken or Peanut Butter flavor. I think it's pretty hilarious, and it would make a fine holiday gift for appromixately $10 = the price of laughter and ferocious bubble-hunting canines.



Geekologie has also informed me of adhesive "tape" sunglasses. They come on a roll, they're perforated, they stick to your face like...tape. You'll have to click the link for Disposable Tape Sunglasses to see just how lame people look with tape on their faces. It's fun! My eyebrows fell out the second I looked at the pictures.

Wild Fire, that Cartoon About A Horse

Omg, thank you YouTube! No one believed me when I talked about the cartoon I watched as a kid - involving a dimension-jumping horse and a secret-princess who lives on a ranch with her dad. This show is for little girls who love horses and want to feel oh-so-special. Yep, you got it. I had a serious horse problem. Truly, as safe symbols of unbridled - heh - sexuality, what could be better.

Jem is Outrageous, She-Ra has Secrets

The Misfits look kinda awesome now, though. I guess the Be Like Jem message didn't stick with me. Or maybe everyone who watched has a little bit of Jem still inside...her magical earrings?



Lest we forget She-Ra, the Princess of Power. Oo, maybe I can find some Wonder Woman next!

Henley-On-Todd Regatta

Read about this "boat race" on Wikipedia.

Here is an About.com article on the Alice Springs "dry" regatta.

It's an annual regatta on a dry river bed, attracting lots of people and "boats" and vendors. It's a big boat party! Hundreds of miles from any body of water! Ending with a "boat battle" involving water cannons and "dough bombs". It's the only regatta to be canceled in the event of water in the river bed.

Australia seems to have an incredible sense of humor.

Obama sushi and Xbox homophobia

What the hell, Xbox? Xbox Live has a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy pertaining to sexual orientation. And that's just stupid. I mean, if you can't tell the truth about your avatar...okay, okay, fine. I'm NOT really blonde. Sorry, everyone. Geekologie told me about the Xbox Live Homophobia Scandal. Hey, I don't want to hang out with homophobic teen boys online anyway. (Unless they're homophobic because they're really gay as all get out. You just wait.)


In a more positive turn of events, a sushi chef out there has made some rather magical Obama maki. Oba-maki? OMG, I'm brilliant. This link is also from Geekologie: Obama Sushi (Oba-maki!).

I Totally Fell For It!

Read this article about a woman who has the courage to collect what the rest of us can only dream of collecting: tiny things! From childhood doll houses to ipod nanos, petit fours, and toy poodles, hell - there's a little of everything little in this woman's life.

I think this article from humor rag, The Onion, should win some kind of award: Area Woman Only Enjoys Miniature Versions of Things

Phd Interpretative Dance Contest - Scientists Only

So, if you are writing your doctoral dissertation, and you have always wanted to interpret your thesis through modern dance, well...you now have a venue for living out that weird quirk. And more power to you! There is now an annual competition for scientists to interpretively dance their dissertations. The prize is a subscription to Science(which they all probably have anyway, no?).

The 2009 Winner was Sue Lynn Lau, with her Phd entitled: "The role of vitamin D in beta cell function". This is a Phd out of the Garvan Institute of Medical Research / University of Sydney, Australia. You MUST watch with sound ON, absolutement.



Below we have another winner, Vince LiCata, with his dissertation, "Resolving Pathways of Functional Coupling in Human Hemoglobin Using Quantitative Low Temperature Isoelectric Focusing of Asymmetric Mutant Hybrids". This is a dissertation out of Johns Hopkins University. I enjoy their pseudo-tribal, psuedo-colonial dance interpretation very much!

Bear Sleeping Bag - I Need It

Forget money and peace of mind...just give me a bear faux-fur sleeping bag. Sooo cuddly. I can take pictures of my jackahuahua sleeping in the bear's mouth. Found this on Geekologie. Love the pictures. Sooo toothy! Hope there's a built-in foam pad so I won't feel the rocks under my spine when I'm camping. Designed by Eiko Ishizawa.

Like I would really go camping. With a bear sleeping bag! Hah. Sheepskin would be more like it. A sheepskin in bear's clothing. Obviously I go camping all the time.

End Of A Rainbow: Mystery Solved!

From Geekologie, picture taken by "Jason Erdkamp on his iPhone while traveling down Highway 241 in Orange County, California. Are the leprechauns in the back of that SUV?"

I'll never eat Lucky Charms again (and thank goodness for that). But, nifty picture!

Neodymium Magnetic POWER

I love those extra-strong little neodymium fridge magnets. I got crafty and made some attractive ones with photocopies of old postage stamps, too. But the bigger the magnets get, the harder they are to pull off the fridge...and then there's this guy I found on Geekologie. He...well, he lost his finger tip and his finger nail when two large neodymium magnets decided to fly together and make him a hand sandwich. If you're wondering, that's the guy's entire fingernail between the magnets pictured. Crazy.

Guy Loses Finger To Neodymium Magnets

Library Renaissance, says the NY Times Freakonomics blog

It's true - library circulation and attendance go way up during recessions. Not hard to see why. Libraries rock the free books, free movies, free music, and free internet. Also, they have job-search materials, sometimes even lectures. They even offer free tax assistance via volunteers trained by the IRS - Volunteer Income Tax Service (VITA).

Here's an article from the NY Times about the new popularity of libraries: Folks Are Flocking to the Library, a Cozy Place to Look for a Job, by Jim Carlton

From Overhead Everywhere, Feb 6 2009

I'm Afraid Library Regulations Dictate That I Must Give You a Wedgie

Librarian: Watcha doin'?
High school girl: Studying.
Librarian: Nerd.

Bellingham, Washington
Vote Counted! 94 % of 250 liked this one.

Why haven't I posted in a while?

Well, honestly, the state of the economy has made me lose my sense of humor. Just a bit. But Obama is putting me in a better mood. I might even laugh a little after tax season.

But for right now, I am enjoying this article from Neatorama, written by Ethan Trex: Money for (Practically) Nothing: 4 Very Big Paychecks for Very Little Work

Here's the Number 4 Paycheck, my favorite entry, in the excerpt below. Sounds kinda dreamy! I really like they joins a gym just to "break up the day" - hilarity!

4. Edward McSweegan

Edward-McS.jpgWhile he may not be as high profile or as well-paid as the other names on this list, McSweegan may have found the sweetest deal an average guy could find. In a coup ripped directly from one of George Costanza’s daydreams, McSweegan claimed that he did nothing for seven years while employed as a scientist at the National Institutes of Health. In 2003 McSweegan told the Washington Post that he hadn’t really been given any job responsibilities since 1996. Prior to that, he had been a researcher and program officer on Lyme disease, but he was removed from that position in 1995 for arguing with a sufferers’ support group. Although he had a title as director of the U.S.-Indo Vaccine Action Program and a list of nominal duties associated with that role, McSweegan claimed that he only carried out the tiniest of tasks like ordering coffee. In exchange, he received a salary in the neighborhood of $100,000.

When the NIH vehemently disputed McSweegan’s story that he simply went to work and did nothing all day, he maintained that he never received any assignments. McSweegan would show up, sit in his office, and read to kill time. He took up fiction writing to fill his workdays and published a pair of novels he allegedly wrote while at the office. He told CBS in an interview that he also joined a health club near work “just to sort of break up the day.”

The most amazing part of McSweegan’s story isn’t that he managed to stay employed through this seven-year period, but that he received positive performance reviews
from his superiors. He wryly explained to CBS, “I guess I’m good at doing nothing.”

Location-Aware Phones are Scary and Amazing

Just read a Wired article recently about location-aware phones - and the crazy apps that tell you crazy CRAZY things about your environment! Like what constellations are over your head - just wave you iphone towards the heavens - or what supermarket sells the lowest price skim milk in a five mile radius - just snap a picture of the barcode. IN-SANE. Here's a link to the Wired Article on these creepy location-aware phone apps.

Here's an excerpt from the app list if you're lazy:

9)
Dark Alley? Call for Help.
Application: SafetyNet
Platform: Android
Price: FREE!

"Finally, a right way to venture to the wrong side of the tracks. Use SafetyNet's map to select bad neighborhoods. Then, if you end up in a sketchy area, your mobile will switch into watchdog mode. If trouble arises, all you have to do is shake the handset and your phone will set off an alarm, start sending your location to friends and family every 30 seconds via Google Talk, take a picture, turn on its speaker, and dial 911 (or another emergency number) . The app announces each of these steps out loud so a would-be assailant can hear what's happening and give up. At the very least, they won't want to steal a cell phone that's shrieking about calling the cops."

- from Inside the GPS Revolution: 10 Applications That Make the Most of Location, by Erin Biba for Wired

La Vache Qui Rit = sounds kinda like "valkyrie"

The Encyclopedia of the Cat is a reference book recommended for small-to-medium academic libraries. I find it humorous that - perhaps due to space concerns - the Encyclopedia of the Dog is NOT a similarly recommended book! Librarian humor. I guffaw. And my sources are probably out of date, but I enjoy it anyway.

Have I started using proper capitalization in this blog? Oh fine. I'll try it in this post, see how it goes.

You know how excited I am about coelacanths (see-luh-canths), those swimming fossil fish blithely going about their prehistoric business while we build skyscrapers and walk our cockapoos to the corner store...there's a book called A Fish Caught In Time: The Search for the Coelacanth. I'm excited to read that sucker. Check it out at your local library, or buy the book, heck.

Here's some cool stuff gleaned from Neatorama:


Stories behind 10 Famous Food Logos (including the metamorphosis of the Morton Salt Girl). I love the development of the Laughing Cow logo - it's a pun on "Valkyrie" = "vache qui rit", or the cow who laughs. Oh my god, the first laughing cow drawing makes me die a little bit. The cow is really losing it. Also included: the fictitious Aunt Jemima, the fictitious Betty Crocker (with creepy composite portrait gallery), and the fictitious Sara Lee!

At the website Energy Fiend, you can find out how many cups of coffee it would really take to kill you. Really! (The website is not liable if they are, say, two cups off in their arithmetic.) Actually, you can calculate the toxic dose of pretty much any commercially available stimulant and/or beverage on the market! Just enter your weight, your "poison" of choice...and there's even a Facebook app. Lord have mercy.

It would take approximately 130 shots of espresso to kill me, bitches! Try brewing that on your expensive yuppie-toy WHILE I WAIT.

And from Geekologie: how to program those Road Work construction signs to say things like "Zombies Ahead" and "Your face is ugly"! Nice.

From Gizmodo and Geekologie: a $5000 paper house for poor people - ostensibly as an alternative to a shantytown shack. (But if I had $5000, I wouldn't be living in a shantytown!) Anyway, it's a paper house that has insulation, and built-in ways to easily slaughter the yard pig and rinse its carcass in the shower stall. Integrated clothesline, and space for a family of eight. I guess it would be more of a gift from some kind of humanitarian organization: "Have fun drying your fish on the clotheslines, hang in there! This refugee camp is looking really ship-shape! Next we'll be handing out Ikea pillows that also function as plates and bowls..."

News Anchors on commercial break

Have you ever wondered what the news anchors talk about during commercial breaks? (Being a pessimist, I wonder if they secretly hate each other, but are forced to make polite small-talk for the camera), but this video from the Chicago Tribune blog HeadCandy proves me wrong. Watch the vid - they are both a little too fabulous.

This may be the best thing I've seen on the internet all week.

Kingfisher feathers as jewelry

The WearableArt blog kicks a$$! So much to love. Artist Tzu-Ju Chen creates jewelry using traditional Chinese techniques, like kingfisher feather inlay. But she also uses Chinese paper money - an offering for the dead - as the base for all this amazing jewelry. Take a look at some of the pieces on her website!

Here's the link from Wearable Art to Tzu-Ju Chen, too.

When venison is too bothersome

This is an article from the NY Times, pertaining to the trendy human consumption of grey squirrels in Britain. See, the native red squirrels are being decimated by the robust, disease-carrying grey squirrels from the New World. So, the locals have taken to eating squirrel - apparently much like rabbit, though dependent on time of year - fat or lean? - and the diet of each squirrel. Nuts and mushrooms sounds a little better than dumpster garbage and peanuts, in other words...

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. Let's not forget that. Put down the Big Mac, pick up an organic free-range acorn-fed squirrel, supplemented with morel mushrooms, pecans, beetle grubs, quail eggs, and pea shoots.

Braised and served with...roasted acorns and grubs, toasted pecans, sauteed morel mushrooms, quail eggs and fresh pea shoots. Just kidding.

I'd have a hard time eating squirrel, because they're adorable little monsters. But if there was a squirrel problem, I guess I would try it. Shoot for the head, don't eat the brains! I'd want summer squirrel, not winter squirrel - unless I was starving and needed to eat pure blubber. Like they do in the arctic - arctic squirrel! Sqwerl.